Terra Nova is set 85 million years in the past and follows a settlement of time travelers that have been sent to the past to find convenient plot devices. The pilot alone cost just over $20 million to produce. Other writers might use this opportunity to take a cheap shot and give you a few examples of better ways to have spent that $20 million, but I’m going to take the high road and only give you one: buying up the world’s remaining supply of Beanie Babies and jumping onto the pile from a gold plated blimp, Scrooge McDuck style.
I intentionally waited for the first few episodes of Terra Nova to air before I wrote my review. The premise was relatively original, and there are dinosaurs so how bad could it be? The answer: pretty bad. I could ramble on for a few thousand words about how the acting is largely cliche’d or how the story lines fail to be comprehensible or engaging, but none of you are going to read that and I have Cheetos that I need to powder and stir into my milk (I have my reasons). This past episode showed so little respect for the intelligence of its viewers that I had to watch Jersey Shore reruns just to restore my faith in humanity.
I know that the promos for this show make it look like Lost + Jurassic Park = Awesome. But a more accurate equation would be Jurassic Park – Everything You Liked About Lost = Sucktastic. Hopefully FOX will come to its senses and put this show out of our misery soon. But in the mean time, please don’t watch the show ironically or out of curiosity. And don’t stir powdered Cheetos into your milk. Its really gross.